I walk in. There are lights, clothing racks, make-up bags, hair dryers. A song so ingrained in my veins is playing on the speakers. MY Song. It feels like a dream. But it is in fact, reality.
The scenes from my very first music video. To say it was a dream come true would be an understatement. It’s like it already existed and I walked right up to it.
But let me rewind.
3 days before these “scenes from a music video” I had a gnawing feeling. I had just gotten out of a session with my mix engineer Chris, and the bass player I hired to play live bass on the track “Weekend”, Johnny.
I had played them the song, “Fighter" to get some feedback as I was heading over to my other mix engineer’s (Bob)studio to finish the final mixing after I was done there. Busy day. I told them it was scheduled to be the song for my first music video.
and then Johnny said what was already in my gut, and what punched me even harder because of it. "Wait, you’re making a video for that song and not this one (the one he just played bass on)? But it’s the summer jam!"
The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. Because like I said, I had been thinking the same thing but had buried that thought deep underneath.
I already had the team in place and the concept for the video for Fighter. I can’t change it 3 days before the shoot. My director will kill me.
I called my sister.
"What do I do? The timing for Weekend is now! Fighter is a fall/winter song.”
I knew this from the very start. Originally I had planned to do the video for Fighter in January/February. But as most things go, it took a lot longer to get everything in order and so we had set a date to shoot on March 22nd.
I knew that I wanted to release "Weekend" over the summer but in my head "Fighter" was released a few months prior. And I just continued on with the plan of shooting it first.
But that Thursday, after I had heard both songs, and really thought about it, my insides were saying “It’s Weekend. It’s gotta be.”
So I called my director. “um, I have to say this because if I don’t, it’ll gnaw my insides out”. And I told her. And she said “ we can make it work. I’m glad you told me today and not the day of the shoot. Just decide by 10am tomorrow when you come to the hair test”.
So, the next morning, I played them both songs, and it was unanimous. Weekend is the winner.
I tell you this story because I know we all have moments like this. Where we feel something in our gut, and our intuition is telling us something that is not the easiest thing to hear. And so we ignore it. But when we listen to that instinct, magic can happen.
To be quite frank, I feel really proud of myself for listening to my gut. It was not easy to do. And In the past I might not have done it. But, I did it this time BECAUSE I’ve learned from all those past times when I didn’t speak my mind. When I ignored that gnawing feeling and the outcome wasn't the best.
And the truth is that if the director had said, "you know we already have everything in place for Fighter, the concept, the people, we should just move ahead with it," it would have been fine too. It’s a great song.
But I had to say what was on my mind. To give voice to my instinct.
So now, back to the day of the shoot, after I felt like a crazy person for changing the song just 2 days before, and how right it actually all felt. And how much fun everyone was having. How we made the concept totally work for this song.
Everyone loved the song. It was amazing to hear people singing the lyrics to my song, to see them dancing around to it. Even just hearing it on the speakers (on repeat for 9 hours!) was so surreal.
Susan is a 69 year old woman who had on her bucket list to be in a music video. And so we helped her cross that off. That was amazing to me! she was so thrilled to be there and was having so much fun.
Our next day of shooting is April 11th. I'm so very excited to see how it all turns out. But in the meantime I am enjoying every minute of the process. Or at least trying my very best:)
I so look forward to you seeing and hearing the final product.
I hope I've inspired you to listen to that voice inside even if it's saying something you don't want to hear. I'll say it leads you to the exact right place you need to be every time.
In music and love,